Jeff Foxworthy: On Upstate New York
If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 36 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by – you might live in Upstate New York.
If you’re proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights a year because Saranac Lake is the coldest spot
in the nation and Syracuse gets more snow than any other major city in the US – you might live in Upstate New York.
If your local ice cream stand is closed from October through May – you might live in Upstate New York.
If you get 131 inches of snow in a week and you comment that ‘winter’s finally here’ – you might live near Oswego in Upstate New York.
If you instinctively walk like a penguin for six months out of the year – you might live, bundled up, in Upstate New York.
If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don’t work there -you might live in Upstate New York.
If your dad’s suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead – you might live in Upstate New York.
If you have worn shorts and a parka on the same day – you might live in Upstate New York.
If you have had a lengthy phone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number – you might live in Upstate New York.
YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE UPSTATE NEW YORKER WHEN:
“Vacation” means going South past Syracuse for the weekend.
You measure distance in hours.
You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.
You often switch from “heat” to “A/C” in the same day and back again.
You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.
You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend/wife knows how to use them.
You design your kid’s Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.